Scarlett week

I spent a long weekend this week. It was fantastically lazy! First activity was my obligation as a friend to celebrate life with them as it was one of my dear friends birthday last Saturday (Wow! Look at that. She got friends! Lol) We are a team of creatively lazy people (besides being obviously pretty heads lol) with me as the laziest and the least creative, I say this with most affectionate smile. 

We just can't get enough of one fact: we THINK we are so goddamn pretty, we can't stop doing selfie after one minute lol

I ran out of things to do day after that exhaustion, there's innovation in being lazy, I tell you, remember when I told you that I bought a Kindle from one of my techie office mates, so I scroll and scroll and scroll and tuddaaaah few minutes after, I was already lost in the world of the Southerners struggling in an American Civil War and the Reconstruction era, where I've meet the Mother of all vain-ness (if there's such a word), of all selfishness, of all pompousness, of all her vivaciousness, if she's  even real, I want to slap her so hard til some sense get into her, so lost into her world, I got separation anxiety thinking about work the following day after Monday. Her name was Scarlett O'Hara where Gone with the Wind was entirely her world. 

Medyo

Medyo nakakairita na yung reply na "copy thanks" ng boss ko. Medyo nakakairita yung late kang pumasok kasi trapik, kasi nakakatamad, nagtext ka sa opisina na medyo male-late ka pero di ka nireplyan, dumating ka ng mga quarter to 9, wala yung boss mo, wala yung NCO nya, tapos nalaman mong may conference kang dapat puntahan kasi walang ibang may alam sa agenda ng conference kundi branch nyo lang, magpapahatid ka na sana pero walang sasakyan kasi gamit ng lahat ng opisyal, nagpasuyo ka sa ibang ka-workmate mo na may kotse, na available at parang hindi naman busy sa pagkakataong yun, pero tinawanan ka lang, nakisabat yung isa, nakisabat lahat, medyo nakakainis yung walang pagsuporta di ba? So bago pa magdilim paningin mo at kung ano pa masabi mo sa mga taong yan na mas matagal pa ang serbisyo kesa sa length ng buhay mo, na gumagawa o nakagawa na ng sarili nilang institusyon gamit ang pera ng pamahalaan, naisipan mo nalang mag-dos ride, paglabas mo walang dos ride, naglakad ka ng kaonti, nagtanaw tanaw, wala parin, lumakad ka ulit, wala paring dos ride, hanggang sa nakarating ka nalang sa venue ng conference, medyo nakakainis, medyo nakakairita.

90 pieces

I work in the government, have I ever told you that? Well, yesterday was an exclaim joy as Juan Army Newsletter got printed and published after an almost six months of extensive re-lay-outing. The Editorial Staff consists of Research Assistant from different offices, the newsletter was just, sort of, an extracurricular activity for us to further contribute in the Philippine Army. So what do you care? What's the point? You may shrug your shoulders, but when I was young, when I was not too lazy to dream, I always thought of seeing my name on a newspaper, in a way, being a "Creative Director" in the Juan Army newsletter sort of a dream come true for me. So what's my point? Dream, I say.

What's with the 90 pieces? You may say. It's the quantity of bond paper I wasted today for the PAISSP book we are supposed to submit to DBM for their MITHI project. I can't tell you about it directly without first boosting the length of my contribution in the government agency I'm in, I say this is more important than the 90 pieces of bond paper I've wasted, see I want you to understand. But still, I want to say sorry, if you're one of those taxpayers who care where his or her huge taxes go, I want to say I've just wasted almost a percent of it to bin. It was an accident, I swear, I didn't intend for it to happen. Peace? I'll try my best not waste too much of it next time, you'll surely hear from me again. 

Kindle.

Bought this Kindle thing last week, from a friend and was soon lost in the world where Edmond Dantes lived, The Count of Monte Cristo. Weekend, again, was bliss! 

Inday Rosales

Wala lang, dahil tinatamaad akong mag-compose ng long form essay dito, isi-share ko nalang yung sinabi ng Tatay ko noong time na kinuhanan itong picture na 'to. Sabi ko kasi, "Pa, paano kung ganito yung suotin ko paalis mamaya? Di ba ako magmumukhang tanga?" (referring to the attire in the picture). Sabi nya, "Hindi naman mahalaga kung ano ang suot ng isang tao, eh kung may pamasahe ka naman at kaya mong pumunta sa isang lugar gamit ang pamasahe na 'yon."

The blessing of having a family

That's my Mama and Papa right there, it's only here (big thanks to you, virtual world!) that I can only say I love them so much, it's a constant ache to think about life without them. These pictures were taken few weeks ago, on a weekend (see how productive I am during weekends, you'd wonder), few days before Papa's birthday, Mama bought him a new shoes so I said let's go take a picture of it and tell the whole about it! We end up with these: 

Papa and mine's shoe selfie. That's his new shoes right there, see!

An OOTD selfie of course, I'm that generation, expect me that way :)

Papa and me re-enacting the ancient world's serious business in taking pictures, where smiling too widely was considered illegally silly and absurd, look at me trying so hard about it :)

When they saw these photos, "ang ganda, ipa-kodak natin to!" How old school my parents are, so adorable.

We're trying to be candid about it, why, me and mother fight everyday of our lives.

With Clark, my nephew, sporting a new hairstyle like mine :) so cute.

Saturday Biking

When I'm not too lazy on weekends, I usually make an effort to move around or even make further effort to go outside and celebrate the morning glory, one time it was jogging I was so into, but running makes me lonely, I just don't like the feeling it get me. It makes me think about rice, and coke, and spaghetti and whole other food stuff while staring deep into the clouds, moaning, catching my breath. Good thing I got an older brother who got this wonderful super cool bike which I can borrow sometimes. When laziness is beyond me, I took an extra effort to invite friends, it's been only twice that I've gone biking around SM Southmall really, during the first time, I was with Eduard, he got no bike so he just wait for me somewhere, with a tumbler full of water, for me, what a sweet best friend, two weeks ago, Saturday, I was with Chamy, my long time friend from high school. She also made an effort to borrow the bike from her mother which makes me want to say that biking can be a way of keeping both the friendship and the fats burning, won't you agree? 

the wondrous head of Miyazaki

(HD version of this video can be viewed here: https://vimeo.com/134668506)

My weekends have always been very lazy, but not this time. For the past two weekends in a row, it's been filled with watching Hayao Miyazaki animated films where I was able to meet the charismatic Howl, the strong willed Sophie, the adorable Ponyo who was a fish and wanted to be a human to be with the man she loves, and so many other unusual but interesting characters which made me smile which made me amazed which made me gaping which made me laugh which made me gasp which made me asked about my existence which made me sigh which made me ache to live which made me spin to a whole lot of different feels. 

And the quality of music each films brings, it made me want to cry so much it could tear me apart. 

I first came across his works during one of my lazy afternoon, or was it evening, I can't be sure, but I came across it couple of years during one of my lazy scroll on my Mother's cable telly. I didn't know the title back then, the child in me was wonder struck so I kept on watching, it was one of the most bizarre and beautiful movies I've ever watch. It's only recently that I get hold of the title, it was the famous, award winning, Spirited Away. Digging more into Hayao Mizayaki world, I realized I am not alone in the journey. There's a lot of us exploring his world, understanding what it was that captivated our individual "self". Realizing this, that I wasn't alone watching his films, I gave up explaining and looking and contemplating about these beautiful works, and just simply watch, and be amazed by these people, by these world inside Hayao Mizayaki's head to which I was sure I've been to before, childhood was it called? 

+ -

It’s been almost three years working, and I’m going further and further away from the memory of college, of old crushes, of old frustrations, of old aches, in life, in relationship with friends, worrying about grades, of riding back and forth, to and fro from school to home. The only thing that remain is the complaining attitude. With the massive influence of social media, I was able to track all the emotional roller coaster I have had. And I can’t help but pity myself more than ever, of what a weak soul this body of mine has. But I realized that I have a high tolerance of patience in every endeavor I fall into. And I think that would be the greatest strength I gained over the years. That what I’m doing is for the greater good of others, for the whole country, for the government, for the people, if I’m that ambitious, is one big thought bubble to instill every day of my working life. During my network days, every goddamn shoot, every stories, every research that need to be done, I always think of meeting God in every encounter I have with people. It’s overwhelming. I keep reminding myself every morning I wake up that making a difference doesn’t require travel, nor is it gained thru social media encounters affirming how good you are. That’s mainly the current struggle of youth nowadays. It reminded of an old film which I recently watch, Reality Bites. One character, Troy Dyer, played by Ethan Hawke, formulate this hippie statement that signify the way youth define all this “I’m too lazy to conquer the world” attitude:

“There is no point to any of this. It’s all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of neat escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter pounder with cheese, those are good; the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter becomes a crackle…and I sit back and I smoke my camel straight and I ride my own melt.”