Oh, Dear such a long time already since my last writing. So much has happened and I am super rusty in elements and construction so whomever you are reading this from your own little world, my pardon. I just know that there is that one person in the world who appreciate my writings, and billions of others don't. Anyway, so much for a prologue. So see up until now I don't have a boyfriend, still. I can't remember the time when I get conscious of me not having one, of having one as a necessity in life. To belong. To be part of the cycle. To really live. It never was my problem way back in my schooling days, elementary, high school and such. I was happy with just having a special crush as an inspiration for studying hard. The priority of having one never come up. Oh yes, there are guys looming around like what the hell, but I'm pulling my face ugly when I think about it. I want a somebody who could take me to that other Planet. When I'd finally meet him, I would know for sure what that Planet I'm talking about. There is so much imagination consumed in my mind that meeting reality is always a disappointment. Me and my girl friends are always talking about that special guy to come along on and on and on and on. But talking about it doesn't change the fact that we're still single and do nothing about this to really be up for it. So here's the catch. One time, it was few months back, I was with my friends. Unconsciously, that "really be up for it" happened and almost bloom to a relationship reality... We were in this cafe called Holly's Coffee in La Salle area. We usually hang around coffee shops and anywhere comfy. The place had this ambiance that me and friends drift to a vast silence and just sit there not talking at all. Added that it was a wifi hotspot area. We got on to our own virtual worlds. One thing about cafes is people going in are so cool to look at, it is one of the reasons i love hanging out in one. I look about me, most people were with friends, some were couples whispering candid to each other. I noticed this one attractive girl sitting behind me. She was with this chubby girl friend. She was sporting a very short hair. I was thinking maybe lesbo. I chat my friend, which I endearingly call perks. I forgot the exact word I throw at her but it was to say that the girl might be a lesbo and what a shame she was very pretty. And man what a long funny thread we had, the essence of the whole conversation was maybe I am meant to be in the world full of girls that is why up until now I can't get myself a real boyfriend. She would hooked be to one, she said. It was so exciting that all I said was yes. Hell if she wasn't serious! One or two days after, she messaged me to say that she found someone for me, best friend of her old colleague who she made friends in her past workplace. Who was also a lesbo. Or a "femme" is what they call themselves. Which means a lesbian, a tomboy who is a girl in physical appearance, she wears makeup, shorts, skinny jeans, tights, skirts, fit shirt and an awesomeness that one would not dare flipped and think she might be a lesbian. So there, it started. My friend gave my number to her friend who gave it to the target. I received no text maybe an hour after she gave it to them. I was so into the situation that I looked her up online. Boy, if she isn't pretty. What ever happened to the world? If I'd pass he by on the street, I'd totally look into her and would think a pretty damn woman. I decided to add my future girl fling on Facebook, she accepted after a few minutes, I commend how fast she was. We chatted a few. Exchanged numbers. Man, it was really awkward, but I was dangerously curious as to where this whole thing might lead to. I'm always excited with "let's get to know each other" stage. But come after that, I'd turn sour. Almost all my friends think of me as very 'futuristic' paranoid over things that don't happen yet. It can ruin, it really can, I realized it now after all the things general happened over the years. The conversation was a bit tight. It was me who message her first through phone. The rest of the conversation after that were overwhelming and fun. She and I get along very well in so many ways, interests in life, music, films, series. We started the whole thread speaking English it was funny and very trying hard at the same time. But she was a sport, she really was. She was fun to talk to. She got this wisdom in her that I found interesting enough to dig deep. And she doesn't eat mangoes, all her life. It was one simple fact about her that for sure will stay with me in my entire life. It was really sweet. Strangers are one fun fellow to talk my heart to, I speak of her of my frustrations, my longing for this somebody which can't tell to the person. She understood and from then on she didn't push. She made few "banats" that I normally hear or see in a man. But nothing really scary or despairingly boring. It made me smile. Or maybe the right thing to say was, I allowed myself to smile, to felt the warm comfort of a somebody. Weeks after we decided to meet along with other friends. First meeting is one situation I hate. But it turned out so well, we've gone bowling and all that stuff. Fun again was the word to describe it. She knows how to handle things, maybe because she was two or three years older than I am. In that one month of everyday talking to her, I was brought to a world so soft, so sweet, so tender, so unknown that it made me scared I pull myself out. I realized soon that I was curious but not strong enough to test the water with both feet. I second guess myself and started thinking if this thing would go a bit further, a bit deeper, it will surely hit me bulls eye. So I decided not to, I held myself up like I always do in every situations. I control the emotions, the feelings. It would be unfair on her part also to push myself with a half heart gladness inside me. Gee is her name by the way :)
