4Ws

Where am i in your inbox,

Which part in the drawers of your mind am i stored, 

Where am i in your life, 

Which part of your body do i exist, 

Just where

Who

What

Am i to you

Yung one-sided love? EST 2012.

I've been loving you for so long. From a distance, I whisper to the wind what my heart is shouting. It's beating "I love you, I love you, I love you" just like your favorite song playing in a repeat mode. We are friends, we laugh together, joke and fool around. There are awkward moments because society says you're a man and I'm a woman. Meant to be together, not to be keep apart. There's one moment where I see a glimpse of hope of "us", "we", being one together, sharing the same noun with a single verb in a sentence, in a paragraph, in a story, creating a life, breathing the same air. During a class discussion, I always raise my hands to feign intelligence. I have to endure the embarassment and humiliation when a teacher calls me for recitation. I am a stammering freak. I hate her, she should know that I am feigning. Maybe I could forgive her if one day she'll ask me"what is love?". I'll point you without much hesitation. Very cheeky perhaps but that's what you are to me. In Geometry, we sit apart, you sitting in front of the row, while I'm contented sitting at the back, staring and glowing at the mere sight of your back, the shape of your ears, your tousled hair, that tiny mole on your nape that's mocking me. Mindless to the teacher whose asking the class to compute the speed of car B from car C and A and all those shit that makes the world a complicated math world. You barely notice me because you are happy. I hold my breath as I see you look on your right. Sitting beside you is the woman you love. You look so perfect together, from the back of my mind, an evil thought says "ruin that perfection". But, I just watch silently from behind, murmuring from within that it's alright, I'm not hurting. This thing go on as we enter to other school ground called college, we remain friends. I say, I am dying. I could not hold on to you any longer. Waiting is a disease burning deep within me.

Written July 21, 2012

World War Chill

Sarap nung greenwich pizza tangina pero parang feeling ko mas masarap maging si Manong at seven in the morning, chill and still and perhaps content? Just perhaps

👫👬👭

Just thankful that before this year ends, I get the chance to make up with dear people who were missing in my life for months, especially this one here. Cheers to friendship! Choose it, no matter how the world tells you otherwise, prove them wrong and choose it. ❤