Screaming Yellow

Another week lies upon my feet, in a few hours it will be Monday again, I will hate my life once again. So before I restore the "hate" that boils out every time Monday appears on my very sight, not to say being able to look at someone you call professionally "higher" than you are, who you personally think is very, uh, how do say ugly very respectfully? I hate it seeing ugly. My thoughts are ugly, my soul is hateful, what good comes if I see ugly, at least have the decency to have your appearance as higher as your professionally higher status, man it's so hard to rant things out so beautifully, I want to spat ugly words, but yeah it's one of the

many things why I hate Mondays nowadays. And to even talk about Monday like a very important tight ass son of a bitch is, gah, I hate it. So before few hours of it arrives, let me subject myself to a topic of happiness, gratefulness and other adjectives of positivism. Shall we? :) (Disclaimer: Well, not really. Haha don't take my word for it. It's one of my dreams of becoming a very unreliable writer someday lol)

Two weeks ago, exactly at this hour, or much later, I pulled myself out from bed, opened my laptop and seek out job posts online. I saw one to my resume's liking. It was from an unknown AM (AM is an understatement, I bet nobody's even watching it except themselves lol semi kidding) tv program from an unknown channel. (Disclaimer: this didn't turned out to a "Yehey! Finally! I get to have another fucking job" shit. This is the fun side story of it. Just to redeem the experience of it. Or at least let me try, or else I'll just end up crying screaming horseshit " I'm not worth any goddamn thing" thing up in the air where He is smoking, probably laughing, whispering, "you can do it, Child") so anyways, so see, I sent an email, received a text message of an interview invitation the following day after that, said yes, lied to the government I am currently serving (contract of service) to hopefully serve another government (well, sort of), besides the 3 hours travel with my ass sitting on fire because, what do you know, EDSA, it was a surprise I didn't make it to outer space, it went pretty well, I say, but I can't bring myself to put a period to this story, so shall I go on to the I "received another text message for an interview invitation" few days after that, this time in Paranaque area where their HR office is located, it's a pretty complicated collaborated business, you see, the job is in QC, the HR is in Sucat, so anyways, man I was running out things to sort an excuse to skip work, I was already double doubting if it was even reasonable fighting for this goddamn thing, the follow up interview came up, what I supposed as a very short follow up one turned into a goddamn almost whole day, the exam was rotten. I could imagine myself crumpling it, or hoping of crumpling it after I get that news thru email that I didn't get the job, uttering "what a waste" the whole time to the HR's faces. You made me climb the very unsafe Coastal overpass to get to that fucking interview, you made me, and the other applicants wait almost the whole day, nerve to the bone, gasping for that hot air of "what might be", anticipating for that few minutes of pleasantries called "interview" shit. And what a fool we are, we've actually waited. It was actually my first time going to the airport not because I'm about to meet a family, relative, friend or go travel myself, but to spend an entire one and half hour lunchtime, eating a Burger Steak take out from Jollibee while balancing it on my lap, all the while staring at some "under construction" sign. Define a day, eh? It wasn't even Monday. During this entire process, I was with someone, an applicant for another position but to the same company. Her name was Ann. She was a fresh graduate. You wouldn't see it in her face. Or in her eyes for that matter. She was pleasant, she was adorable, I couldn't being so sarcastic and calm when I was her age (wow parang ang tanda ko na, feeling wisdom-y all of a sudden lol), she was one of the two things who made that experience upside right. The other one thing was Bennett, he was the person in charged with the HR, yes, the one that made us wait for almost a day. We seemed to be just of same age. So I had on my appearance a 20% stance of "I slightly disrespect you, you who made us wait and waste our time." What's the good thing about it? He was of the same University as I. The moment I said, "I am a graduate of Adamson blah blah", he started as if it was his first time reading my resume. My, if St Vincent wouldn't be so proud. Two human beings got cultured in a university dedicated after Him, now acting their part in the big big very wild corporate world. "Here's my chance at getting this" was my thought few seconds after that, when one experience immunity, you tend to overshare your weaknesses and less on the strength, and I did that, hell if I wasn't rumbling things as if I knew him my entire life. So when one week after that hell and heaven of a day I found out that I didn't get it, I pounced. It's only now that I get the chance to see it clearly (come to think of it, it's only now that I thought maybe it was a trick from him to get to me, to ruin my life lol), I mean, the ever "everything happens for a reason" shit right after I've get my head turned blonde, so blonde, no other Bennett of any HR company I would apply to the next time could get to my head . Ever. Mind you, I even managed to  post something like, "When bubble dreams burst outta your head, you don't blame the person or the circumstance who burst it, it's you, the dreamer, THE LOSER and nothing else, what better way to stop bursting, bleach it, bleach it til it can't burst no more" shit on social media with a picture of me all yellow. I was silly. But I'll reach that California Dreamin', and be bleach even more, and you, all HR of the world, all the Bennett of the world, all the Patricia Evangelista of the world (I had a very memorable - read that as horrible - experience of being interviewed by her) who get in the way of me reaching that dream, wait for that "I'll see you in my Office at 3am in the morning or else!" burst out of my mouth! Lol come the day. With that, I'd see peace with fingers pointing on you, and goodnight :) here's how yellow I was and still am from the experience hahaha