Sunday, November 29, 2015

Dear, Gee.

To the person I once knew, who beat me at bowling, I write to you with eyes flooded with mucus, with mouth dry as placid (whatever that means), with nipples tender from sleep. It has been so long, the idea of you, of once knowing you is fading as days go by, you are but a distant memory, but then you to me are the significant experience of my 23 years, however brief that encounter was, you are the transition that I have been longing for. Until it passes. Out of nowhere, she remembers me, you'd probably think. Yes, agree with you on that. I woke up last Saturday with nostalgia, inside my head, a drawer was left open, maybe it was from a dream, I can't be sure, all memories of you flashed back in seconds, I was left helpless, longing for you, or the idea of you. Same as you, you are fond of scattered words, of extensive narrative meaningless lines, like this, so I'm pretty sure you would understand me. How's work, you may ask me? Maybe that is why I seek you from my memory out, or the memory of us, however brief that was, from the back of my mind. You have entered through there, and I was released. I have been so busy these past few days over things I've no passionate about, don't pity me. We take what we think we deserve, and I frustrate on making good at it. I'm sure, you are one who could understand me on this. It was one hell of a week, or weeks. And when it was over, I seek you out as a comfort. As a result I craved for bowling to unwind myself, we had good memory at doing bowling. I was pretty tempted to hit you a message, but I remember, things might get complicated. We are not supposed to be friends. And you are not to read this. If you can, I'm sure you will, but I know you can't right now. So I invited friends to come with me, but mind you, and ever we'd met again, or talk to you again, this is one of the things I want tell you about, of how hard it is to seek friends out these days, was it me, was it them, or was it the world, who are to blame, as we drift further and further apart? It'pretty impossible to get a simple, "yes I'm free today!" these days, pretty lousy hard to come by. Sour grape, that was me for sure. There's always an excuse. I know because I do it sometimes. But why we do that to ourselves, is I keep asking myself. One hell of a roller coaster ride, and we will never gonna beat each other out, friends. So that's what what happened. I was left very frustrated. I wanted to go out there and beat the hell out of someone's butt at bowling last Saturday. It almost did come true when a group of friends from high school hit me a message about a bowling game happening late that day. I was ecstatic. But it didn't happen with one reason reasonable enough for it not to happen, we ended up watching this Second Chance movie. It was a movie, alright. Not a film, but a movie. I could cry over a lost dime over that movie, but I was with friends, so it was alright. Everything was alright. One friend from that group invited me to play bowling the next day, and I said yes. And before I end this with picture slides and some videos of how awesome it was, with how I beat my friends out of it, of how good I am at it now enough to persuade the world to let us meet again for a one round or two of a bowling match, just for one round or two of a fucking bowling match. You could not imagine how badly I want to hit you a message and talk random with you, to know how life is treating you on your side of the world, and of how it is treating me just fine, with enough frustration and bitter courage enough to drive me to a craving of deep despair of winning at least something out of this unbelievably competitive world, I surprised myself. Would be so happy to see you again, you know pretty well how to find me. With longing, here's some pictures and video to show you how much :) x









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