Experience : An overstatement

It's been two weeks already since that nerve-wracking, almost soul shattering experience of being the master of ceremony for a two day formal gathering, and up until now, it's still reeling in my head, repeatedly replaying all that sweaty in the hand kind of experience in my head, whenever I do, I would smirk or twitch to myself, or go make an excuse to the bathroom just to sit in the bowl for a while (I'm so thankful for every bowl in the bathroom who swore to flushing secrecy), and curse myself, or the rest of the world for being such a know it all bunch of critics. Constructive criticism, my ass. Who are you kidding. But in any ways, it was one hell of an experience. Another fearful demon of "You can't do it!" had been shoo  away, at least during that experience. Hosting or speaking eloquence in a room full of people has never been one of my passions, or virtues for that matter. I took up Mass Communication in college because I love reading, and way back, I was thinking, perhaps taking the course was the way to the future of becoming this great mills and boon, harlequin kind of writer. During that four years, not only that I learn to appreciate more of it as a serious (as well as very maddening to the point where you just want to procrastinate just like this one) passion, I was also able to appreciate the art of acting, besides writing essays and productions, it was one subject I truly had hang ups with. I would enjoy waking up in the morning to go to class knowing I would be learning new things about the subject. Acting is like reading or writing for me, you get to escape from your "self". It wasn't philosophical, it was just the way I feel about it, up until now. But never did I learn to appreciate whatever art exist in public speaking, or being the master of ceremony to any gatherings, or speaking AS YOURSELF in a podium with a mic with all these cynical people looking at you, watching your every move for mistake. In college it was okay because, well, I thought it was just for the grades. Never did I imagine doing it for the purpose of a job. I won't go into details with every emotions I felt to every criticisms I've heard during and after that. It wasn't my passion, after all. But still it was given to me because all my boss saw something in me, that I can do it, so it was important to me that I would do at least good at it. One of the best things about it? When one or two or three of your mentors (aka bosses) shake your hand as their way of saying, "good job!", not to say a lesson of believing in and with myself more. It made me think of the potential I can make. It sure was a "for a fleeting moment there I thought I could do great things in this world" kind of experience. But take all the criticism that you can take, savor it, until you can't take it anymore haha man, I can't even imagine the lives of all these famous prominent people, must so hard to sleep at night. 

It got me all drained after it was done.